Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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