One time I masturbated by myself

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

Niki Minaj's ass

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

Your mother is so fat........... that she is morbidly obese and is at severe risk for diabetes and other weight related diseases.

TWIX PAUSE!

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

your mom is so blind she cant read.

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...