Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

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Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

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Your Mom.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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womens rights

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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