A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

Is this where I type the joke?

How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

why do you care?

What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

Omg its that superman nope chuck testa

What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

Your mums a penis joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...