How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Penal Dysfunction

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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