A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

69

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy fall out of his high chair? I'm not sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +14

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was the boy sad...because scooby doo shot him with a harpoon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black teenage girl wants to get a job, unfortunately she is chained to a fence, beaten, and called a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops