When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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Zach Barlow

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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The Mexican word of the day is JUICY. Tell me if juicy see the cops.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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