Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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What do you call a homeless person with one leg? Rob.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Women's sports

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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terry stockton is straight

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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K.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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