Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

I lost my tractor.

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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