whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

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Why did the girl fall off a cliff? Because it was an Anti-Joke.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Samantha

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Norris? well no one knows for certain, but they do know there's alot of fridges involved

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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good one jess !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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