Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Pee Pee bleekkka klup look? fupapapapapapapapap

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Tell you something funny.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Muslim athletes.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem makes no sense FIRETOE!!!

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops