Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

hipsters

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How could you ever watch a man hit another man and say nothing? UFC is on at 9:00pm.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

thumb_up thumb_down -7

lol a man is drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

tea with milk?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops