what's brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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what do you call a football team without players a group of coaches

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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