A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do u catch a polar bear u cut a hole in the ice put peas around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea u kick it in the ice hole

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where do black people ride bicycles? In the Pedestrian Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Darude - Sandstorm

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops