What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

What's large, green, and pissed off? The dumpster out back

What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

Snausages.

What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

colby doesnt shave

69

Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

ecks! why zee?

bob saget

69

Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

5

why are you people on anti-joke? BECAUSE you have NO LIFE !

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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