What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

Ted Haggard.

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

soccor

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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