What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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You're Adopted.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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