OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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U ALL LIAK DIK

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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What's worse than a tornado that kills your whole whole family? Nothing.

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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