Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

Women's rights

What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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