why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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A cow says moo and explodes.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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Mrs. Welsh

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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A dog walks into the local newspaper to place an ad. The dog writes; "woof woof, woof woof woof." Receptionist: You know you can ad another two woofs for the same price? Dog: Well that wouldn't make any sense at all?

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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What's the difference between anti jokes and Charlie Sheen? Nothing. Their both stupid

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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