why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

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Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops