Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the man bring the computer to the doctor because it had a virus

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Yo sugars so salty when you put it on your french fries they taste like salty french fries

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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A black man in a country bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops