Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

Why did sally break her arm? A piano fell on her

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

knock knock ... no one was in

what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

What's worse than banning guns? Very few things

Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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