What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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wanna here a joke??? read below...

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

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A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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