Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? Because he is dead

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Why do babies cry on airplanes? Because gay people are getting married.

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Why did the depressed teenager die? Because he had cancer.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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Zach Barlow

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops