If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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fack me in the ace! CC

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What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF What's white and fluffy? A BUNNY What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF What's brown and fluffy? A PORCUPINE

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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Penal Dysfunction

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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Why cant you find your handle? Because YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you, but the rose are wilted the violets are dead the sugar is lumpy and so is your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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