What happened to the village that got swept by a tsunami? It was destroyed.

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops