When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

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Woman's rights

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Civil Rights.

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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