What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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Where's Waldo? Nowhere. Waldo is a fictional character. He doesn't exist.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Why was the Mexican socially inept. Because he hadn't recieved a good education

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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so dont touch it.

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#scabbers

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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