Q: what do you call a muslim driving a plane? I don't know A: 9/11

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How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Your mom.

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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Wombat monkey juice.

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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Q:how many anti jokes does it take to make a person lough A:1

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What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

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Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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