Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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Q:How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She didn't, she sought help and was able to live a very happy life with a beautiful family in a nice suburb outside of Cincinnati.

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=341666429240797&set=a.102107073196735.4429.102099916530784&type=1&theater

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

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Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops