why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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What do you call a person at your door? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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What is worse than using the toilet and then realising there's no toilet paper? A racially motivated massacre.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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