knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Nippies

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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you

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4-4-2

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one. You're imagining things.

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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GONNA

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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