Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

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Emily Brunelle is skinny

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Men's Sports

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You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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