Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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thermodynamics?

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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why jews dont believe in God? Jews believe in God, its just that their god is different from ours !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops