How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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Penis

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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What did the pastor say to the rabbi? Hi (or some other greeting)

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Lebron James in the 4th quarter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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