two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

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Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops