A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Why couldn't Helen Keller see or hear? She was blind and deaf.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar. They notice that there's only one stool left at the bar itself. They sat at a table with four chairs. They had a delightful time.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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