Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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