Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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What did the young boy get His dad for fathers day? Nothing, his dad died from a very aggresive cancer

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Male penises.

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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