Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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Soccer...

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fatest boner fatest boner fatest boner to adam ramsden

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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knock, knock come in

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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