How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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That's not what she said.

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Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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What's the difference between a North Korean and a South Korean? Nothing, they're both chinese.

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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