Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

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Meow.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

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Whats worse than finding a jew in you bed. Jake skellern

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Chicken penis.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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