What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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