.....Carrot Top....

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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When life gives you lemons, You find a new life

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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What did the veterinarian say to the dog? Ohhh who is a good dog? You are!

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Q: Why did the prostitute have no arms? A: Because she was an amputee.

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

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How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

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What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops