What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Guess what these words are: boo_s p_n_s _ _ ndom s_x fu_k wan_er Answers: books,pants,random,six,funk,wander.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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Woman rights.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? You have HIV.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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knock knock who's there? boo don't do this joke again- i'll make you cry if you finish it don't cry it is just a knock knock joke teeheehee

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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