Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the shark do when he died.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do you call a homeless man? poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do you make a baby cry kick it off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Colby is gay.... thats it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -21

this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Pen15

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? -Why? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops