Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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I said I hate niiggers

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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justin bieber

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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