- Anti Joke

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

What is 8 times 4? 32

What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

What is 9 + 10? 21

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

What did the doctor say to the little boy? Pull down your pants and cough.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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