What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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Woman's Rights

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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You.

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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Black History Month

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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