What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

thumb_up thumb_down -1

when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chiken cross the road? Well its wing were clipped so it couldnt fly across the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo mama is so dumb she went to dr. dre for a pepsmear

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops