I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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what time is it? 3:16

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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hi

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly shits on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Penis

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You want to know how I know you're gay You want to have sex with a person of the same sex

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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