Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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Why did the fat prick post on the internet? Because he was MorningAfterBoy

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What's 4+7 47

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? If you know the answer then you should probably stop sniffing paint.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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