Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Gianni

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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feces

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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