Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

pretend its saturday.... what is the square root of 9? who cares? everyone knows that you don't do math on saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guess What! HI!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is 9 + 10? 21

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops