Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

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Why was the black man a victim of racial prejudice? because he was black

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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