What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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why is the name Brian so funny BECAUSE IT IS!

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What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

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What do you call a baby with no arms nor legs? An infant lacking limbs.

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a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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How did the asian find his family? He didn't because they all look the same.

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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boo

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How do you stop a black guy from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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