Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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An asian without a future.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who had a wife and ate kids?

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Your time.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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knock knock who's there? Andrew Oh hey Andrew come on in!

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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